Loving Kindness is a basic teaching in most of the major religions of the world. In Buddhism, Loving Kindness is a way for us to move from a “me” centered perspective to paying attention to another, or others. Being able to be present with another person’s pain–whether emotional, physical or spiritual–requires us to be open to life itself. This may bring a feeling of vulnerability which makes us uncomfortable. This is a good sign that you are moving closer to your caring heart.
Loving Kindness is not something that someone instills in us. It is the natural feeling of caring that is innate in us. If we are always rushing around going from one project to another, we lose touch with that part of us that can sit with someone who needs to be heard, or even to feel compassion for ourselves.
Giving Loving Kindness to someone can take many forms–a smile to a stranger, calling a friend you haven’t seen for a long time, giving yourself some quality time with a loved one, listening to another person’s problems, or sitting peacefully in meditation and sending the intention to that person that they be happy. Some people find great joy in tending a garden with care or taking care of homeless pets. Whatever your chosen expression is for Loving Kindness, notice how you feel when you are giving it. It is a gift that continues to grow in you and the other.
It’s always scanning for something on which to focus its beam of awareness. Pay attention to what your mind searches for to offer an opinion, inner comment, or evaluation about. Noticing the themes of our scanning mind provides useful insights into our habit patterns of thinking. Revealing these patterns is a step toward making our lives work better since thoughts precede actions.
How this works: Pay attention to what your mind makes of the things that occur in your life. For example, on days when a number of everyday events seems to go wrong, what does your mind do with that? Do you look for:
Someone or something to blame, to criticize, get angry with, argue with, get even, worry about, attack, compare yourself to, fear, feel sad or hopeless about?
It is possible to allow ordinary events to occur without needing to make someone (including yourself) or something wrong about that happening.
Take some moments to pause. Enjoying a few deep breaths is relaxing for the body and mind. Let the mind settle down a bit and notice what you are doing. Ask yourself a few key questions such as: “is this way of seeing my experience beneficial for me and for others? What do I really want to cultivate in my mind—peacefulness and clarity, or agitation? What feelings am I reinforcing with these ways of assessing my situation?”
Mindfulness practice:
Notice what’s happening.
Ask if my response to the situation is useful/beneficial or not.
Question any critical thoughts.
Sit with my body response and let the body and mind settle.
Notice how the rest of your day goes after taking a little personal time for understanding yourself better.
Just for now, just for this moment, allow the body to be at ease. Just for now ….. invite the mind and body to slow down. Just for now….. feel the breath glide in and out without effort. Just for now ….. quiet the inner critic and judge. Just for now ….. feel the peaceful mind. Just for now ….. feel the bliss of a calm body and mind. Just for now ….. enjoy the pleasure in just being. Just for now ….. rest in clear, unbiased awareness.
Creativity comes in many forms. Listening to your heart — the source of our inner passion and creative voice – can direct attention to many fun ways of giving wholesome expression to creativity. If an ordinary activity you do begins to feel like a drudge, try putting a creative spin on it. Try engaging your sensory systems differently as you do it.
I have been having fun creating different food combinations for taste and color. Here’s a recent example. It’s red cabbage and swiss chard. I lightly browned onions and garlic in a little olive oil. Lightly sauteed the cabbage and chard. I used red cabbage for color. I added a touch of seasoned rice vinegar. It is delicious and pretty healthy for the body. We season things pretty lightly, but added spices could also be nice if you like them.
red cabbage and swiss chard
Another taste pleaser is the same basic start but use red swiss chard and couscous. I used a little fresh lemon instead of rice vinegar for the couscous dish and topped it with a few pine nuts. Yummm……
Engaging the mind and body with awareness is a practice in being present with life now. Staying grounded in the present keeps us out of the ruminating mind. See what you can be creative with today.
One of the many talents my friend Caryl had was the ability to create amazing Ikebana arrangements. Sadly, Caryl is no longer with us in this dimension of life (1942-2009). She was a beautiful being, friend and Dharma colleague. Some of her Ikebana friends created this arrangements as a loving tribute to her. Caryl, you will be greatly missed.
“The body is the physical aspect of the personality and movement is the personality made visible.” - Mary Starks Whitehouse
Bodies are meant to move. If we are truly listening to our bodies, we know clearly how they want to move. The form that movement takes is as unique and individual as we are.
I knew as a young child that moving to music brought joy and pleasure to my being. Over the years I have experimented with many forms of movement. For this I am grateful as now, in my mature years, I have a variety of familiar skills and modes of movement on which I can draw even if the body has more limitations than it used to. It still loves to move.
One form of movement I participated in and experimented with for a number of years was Authentic Movement: www.authenticmovement–usa.com. The above quote is from this website. This beautiful form of movement puts the mover in touch directly with her inner knowing. She surrenders to and honors what that inner sense directs the body to do. It’s a moving meditation that comes from the heart, not the head.
Bodies that move with ease are delightful to feel and observe. I invite you to listen to any level of movement your body wants to create — and enjoy that expression.
For years, I saw an acupuncturist who would place her hands on my head at the end of my treatment and say softly “love this body.” The intent of those words sent a feeling of total peace, love and tranquility through my body. The words were merely the reminder to me of these natural feelings that are available to all of us as human beings.
When we overlook and override our bodies with unconscious behavior, demands and actions it sends a subconscious message to the body that is far from kind. Ask yourself if there is a part of your body about which you have critical thoughts. Remember, this is the miraculous body that enables you to experience life.
When was the last time you sent warm feelings of kindness and appreciation to your body? Take some time to check-in with how your body feels right now. Are there any physical sensations present? Is there discomfort? Do a brief internal scan of your body to sense what it’s feeling. If you have been rushing all day, the body may be on “race mode.” Give it a little time to settle and relax. Reassure the body that you are listening to it.
After the body is settled, bring a genuine feeling of appreciation, kindness, or caring for your body. Let that feeling begin to flow through the body just like your circulation, pausing a few extra minutes at places of discomfort or those places you mentally criticize. Imagine each cell of the body opening to these feelings of appreciation.
For best results, this practice should be done often. We can do it in a few seconds when an opportune time arises, when we find ourselves being critical of our bodies, or for several minutes as a formal meditation practice. Being this attentive to the body develops a new friendship with the body where we are more sensitive and attuned to its needs. Your experience is your own evidence of the value of this practice.
As human beings, I believe our inner nature yearns to express. The form that expression takes varies widely depending on our mood, our lifestyle, our health, our connection with our sense of well-being, and if we give it time and space. Expression may be physical (such as movement or action), emotional (expressing feelings outward), mental (thoughts and stories we tell ourselves or others), or a combination of these domains. Many people feel connected to their spiritual essence (that which is beyond the ordinary sense of self) when they express through creativity.
By taking time for a regular mindfulness practice of being with ourselves and feeling what’s happening inside, we can sense when creativity is prompting us to express in some form. Choosing if our expression is skillful or unskillful makes a huge difference in how our lives unfold. Overlooking our inner creative voice is like trying to stop a river from flowing freely. From time to time I will post different ways in which I and others give form to creative expression.
To start, here is a photograph my husband took while we were on a trip in Russia several years ago. The architectural structures on Khizi Island made a strong impression on him. Sometimes Sid likes to dabble with his art pen. The picture is a drawing he did from the photo. Have you given expression to your creative spirit lately?
Buddhist teacher and author Pema Chodron http://www.shambhala.org/teachers refers to getting in touch with our soft spot inside. This can be a beautiful practice to do as an antidote to feeling separate, alone or disconnected from another or others. I’m suggesting it here as a shortened version of the Metta or Loving Kindness practice.
Give yourself a little time to be quiet and sit with yourself free of day-to-day responsibilities. Let your body relax and consciously release any tension. Feel the breath coming and going in the chest cavity without any effort. Notice if the movement of the in-breath and out-breath also create minimal movement in the abdomen or elsewhere in the body. Use the feelings in the body and with the breath to be focal points of settling, and ignore any random thoughts that come in.
Now get in touch with the feeling inside of being a warm, friendly, caring person. It may help to remember a situation or moment when that feeling was genuinely there for you. Let yourself feel that warmth, kindness, softness toward yourself as you breath. Just breath and feel each breath increasing your sense of innate kindness. Stay with this feeling as long as you can. Feel how getting in touch with the soft spot inside of you melts some of the hard edges of the body and mind.
This practice is particularly helpful if you have had a difficult day or are feeling down on yourself.
of the hard edges of the body and mind.