Posted By sharon on May 8, 2012

I still remember with deep feelings, my oldest son describing his experience of 19 years ago driving his wife and their eight-hour old newborn son home from the hospital.  My son said he had never been so nervous or driven so carefully as that 45 minute drive on the freeway from the hospital to their home.  Certainly anyone who has been a parent knows what he meant.  Having a baby reminds us of the preciousness – and vulnerability – of life.

Sometimes we forget the significance, importance, and preciousness of being in this world and on the spiritual path as a householder.  The many demands of raising a family and all it entails appear to overshadow any intentions of spiritual development—at least for awhile.  I continue to hear from people in my meditation groups who are parents—especially those with children still at home—how difficult it is to find time to do a regular meditation practice.

There are, however, several mindfulness practices that fit beautifully for anyone with limited time.  Here are a few that can be done in 5 or 10 minutes. Any time devoted to spiritual practice is worthwhile.

Loving Kindness – In the metta sutta, Buddha reminds us of ways to cultivate a kind heart toward ourselves and others.  One phrase in the sutta fits with this writing: “Just as a mother would protect her only child at the risk of her own life, even so, let her cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings.”  Sit quietly with yourself, relax, breath, and feel the love and caring you have for your dear ones.  Let the feeling fill you with warmth and kindness.

Breath Counting – There are many ways to do breath counting meditation.  This practice can help to settle and calm the mind, bringing a sense of freshness to it.  Disengage from all daily activity and take a 10-breath pause.  Counting 5 or 10 breaths on the exhale can keep attention focused on the breath.  Even though you mentally count on the exhale, be fully aware of the silent inhale.

Naming Body Parts – This practice keeps us in the moment with body awareness.  Take a seat and let the body relax with a few breaths.  Gradually let your attention move randomly throughout the body wherever it is drawn.  Pause momentarily with each part and mentally note that place, such as “face,” “hand,” “shoulder,” “knee,” “belly,” etc.  Breath into each body space as you label it.

Knowing This Moment – Bringing mindfulness to moments throughout the day regardless of what is occurring is an excellent practice that fosters mindfulness, equanimity and wisdom.  At any given time, pause and notice “This is how it is now.”

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Posted By sharon on April 21, 2012

When the last chill of the long winter nights finally surrenders to the warmth of spring, my bones begin to thaw.

In those longer dark months, I don’t notice how my bones have gone into hibernation.  They do it so quietly.

But when they begin to come alive again in the spring, I notice a feeling of renewal in my whole body.

Body, mind and heart are ready to reach out to the world, to others – like the flowers in spring saying:  “Yeah – sunshine!”

Patience with the natural ebb and flow of our bodies and minds as the seasons change is just plain practical and wise.

A “season” may be a month, week, day, or minute.

How do your bones feel now?

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Posted By sharon on April 19, 2012

Do you have the patience to be with yourself right now – just as you are in this moment? Habits – ways of being – form so easily. For example, before we have finished one task we are already thinking about the next thing on our mental “to do” list. What is this driving force that prompts us to do more, to keep moving? It’s how we have conditioned ourselves, but it can be transformed.

Patterns that are repeated get reinforced, whether they are beneficial for our overall well-being or not. We condition ourselves and forget to ask: “does this behavior serve my best interest?”

Having an intention to set aside regular time to be with ourselves quietly is a beautiful way to foster patience. It helps to reset our mental conditioning to always be doing something. The mind may still want to lure us into an activity that seems much more productive or engaging. When that tug occurs, gently remind yourself: “it’s OK, not now” and remember your resolve to be patient with just being. It’s a new way of befriending yourself.

I recommend one longer sit of 15 or more minutes each day to disengage from doing. Several shorter sits of 5 minutes or more are also beneficial. Be sure to observe how you feel after doing this practice, and you decide if it is beneficial.

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Posted By sharon on January 29, 2012

In Buddhism “change” is referred to as IMPERMANENCE. It’s one of the basic tenets of Buddhism.  The Pali word for it is anicca—one of the Three Characteristics of Existence.  The other two are unsatisfactoriness (dukkha) and not-self (anatta).  Like Latin, Pali is a dead language, but it supposedly is the language the Buddha spoke, hence it is considered by many to be the “gold standard” for Buddhist texts. Since I don’t read or speak Pali, I don’t know if impermanence is an apt translation of anicca or not.  But it certainly is a theme that is written and spoken about over and over by Buddhist teachers, scholars, and authors.  One doesn’t have to get too far into studying Buddhism without encountering the theme of impermanence.

What I am very clear about, however, is that change is always occurring in my life—in big and small ways.  All you have to do is sit quietly with yourself for a few minutes and you can observe change. Do your body sensations remain static?  Is each breath the same?  Does one emotional state remain throughout that sitting?  Is there a single thought that shows itself on your inner screen and then goes into “pause?”  Of course not!  These are a few examples of our inner experiences of change—or impermanence.

Changes in the outer world are endless. The sun moves daily.  The wind and rain are episodic.  The leaves on the trees have a seasonal cycle of transformation.  As I age, the many changes to my physical form are undeniable.

One of the things I find most interesting about changes that are occurring is my response to them. Some I embrace and welcome, others I resist and try to ignore—at least for awhile.  But welcoming change is an opportunity to recreate ourselves. Years ago I had a teacher who used Sufi teachings as a way to help us “Learn how to learn” (thank you, Jim).  One of the lessons I remember from that time is to realize that each day when we wake up, we can recreate ourselves.  We don’t have to “put on” the same old cloak or habit patterns that we had before.  I love this idea.

When we live with the intention to not create harm or cruelty for ourselves or others, we can welcome each day with a clean slate and wholesome heart. What a freeing feeling that is.  It’s like throwing open the windows of the house in spring to clean out the stale winter air.  Asking for forgiveness or saying you are sorry on the spot when it’s appropriate; extending a spontaneous act of genuine kindness; seeing what’s before us with clear vision, keeps us alive and engaged with the world.  Not only can we recreate ourselves each morning, we can do it each moment.  Be the alive, ever-changing truth of who you are, free of the concepts you thought you were a moment—or day—before!  Embrace change. Recreate life in this moment.

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Posted By sharon on November 14, 2011

The Buddha found that craving in all its many forms is the root of our suffering, dissatisfaction, and distress.  This element of the Dharma is a basic foundation of Buddhism.  The teachings are about how to recognize and understand our tendency toward craving (the First Noble Truth) and how to bring an end to this cause of our suffering.

To crave: to long for eagerly; to ask earnestly for; deep longing.

Volumes have been written on this topic, going back to the original Suttas (Buddhist scriptures).  Modern translations from western and eastern teachers continue to come forth.  The significance of craving on our lives is a deep and profound truth to grasp.

I am not a Buddhist scholar.  I am a student, a practitioner, and a meditation teacher.  Many of the teachers I have studied with have helped me in my quest for both an intellectual understanding of the significance of the Second Noble Truth, and an experiential knowing of it.

When we crave something, one of our six sense fields (eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin, and mind) either craves more of what is pleasant, or for an end to what is unpleasant. We deeply long for things to be different than they are right now.

While I do not encourage the development of the mental state of craving, if you must crave – please try “longing deeply” to feel more compassion for yourself and others.  If you have a thought or feeling of wanting more kindness, patience, or understanding in your world, eagerly and earnestly give expression to these as you go about your day.

On the surface the practice of developing more kindness or compassion may appear as a form of craving, since we genuinely want to feel these wholesome qualities more and suffer less, but in practice bringing kindness and compassion to ourselves and others is taking the action required to end our suffering – the direction of the Third Noble Truth.  In time, kindness and compassion become our path (Fourth Noble Truth).

 

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Posted By sharon on October 31, 2011

Do you find yourself wanting more from something or someone than is actually there?

When the chocolate bar ends, the desire for just one more delicious bite….

Checking through your emails or bookmarks one more time for new messages that aren’t there….

Wanting your partner or friend to acknowledge the little extra, thoughtful things you did to make their day a bit nicer….

Buddhism reminds us that desires are endless.  We can certainly see this clearly by just watching what the mind does when there is some down time, when nothing much is happening.

We seek change – always wanting something more, something different than what is present right now.

This endless desire for something different blinds us to the richness of this moment – as it is — and fosters a low level of dissatisfaction with ourselves and others.

Try slowing down a bit — take a pause before you speak or bite into your food or get into your car.  Look around.  What do you see, what thoughts and moods are present right now, how does your body feel?

Appreciating this moment just as it is right now is a moment of deep peace.

May you enjoy many moments of peace this day.

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Posted By sharon on August 21, 2011

the mind that has known the activity of youth must now rest with the natural dignity of aging

the mind that seeks change from how things are now is leaning into an imaginary future that does not exist in this moment

the mind that seeks change is blind to the aliveness of this moment – it is all around us

feel the pulse of the earth

the pull of the moon

the sweep of the wind

knowing both sound and silence

the preciousness of each breath changing

life becomes subtle and simple and beautiful in that simplicity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted By sharon on May 13, 2011

Trusting the Heart

The physical heart is often used as a metaphor for the feeling center of our emotions.  Sad emotions have their familiar heart sayings:  It broke my heart – I have a heavy heart – My heart is crying.

Common expressions for happy emotions related to the heart are also well known:  My heart is bursting with joy – My heart is filled with love – My heart is so happy.

Mindfulness helps us to be aware of the fluctuating moods and feelings that occur for all of us in response to life events.  The following original poem was prompted by the beautiful mindfulness practice of Loving Kindness which is a call to bring forth kindness whether we are feeling sad or happy.  Take to Heart the messages of each line and see how your body, mind and heart feel.

I see myself as my heart sees me.

I know myself as my heart knows me.

I accept myself as my heart accepts me.

I appreciate myself as my heart appreciates me.

I love myself as my heart loves me.

Treating the emotional heart with kindness is also good for the physical heart.  Trust your heart of goodness to care about yourself, and to take that caring into your friendships.

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Posted By sharon on March 4, 2011

When we think of sitting quietly with ourselves, disengaging for a short time from our worldly responsibilities, we may find our habit of always doing something pushing us to do the next thing.  Do you have a critical voice inside that says you are wasting time when you sit and reflect on your life or just relax for awhile?  Sooner or later, the body rebels out of exhaustion or by getting sick, the mind becomes clouded with internal messages telling us to do more, do it faster, do it better, and our emotions become reactive.

Giving the mind and body respite from always doing brings us back to a healthy balance of well-being.  I’m referring to sitting and being quiet with yourself–no television, radio, reading, eating, iPod, or other engagement.  I find people are often uncomfortable doing this practice at first because it is so unfamiliar.

Remember as a child how you laid on the grass and watched the clouds pass by, feeling the warmth of the sun, and the sensations of the earth on your back?

Poets have written for ages about “Time Well Spent”.  They know its value in life.  In our fast-paced lifestyles of today, this nurturing way of being is falling by the wayside.  But all it takes to bring it into your life is doing it–today.  Take some time to be with yourself quietly and see if you think it is a wise use of time.

 

 

 

 

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Posted By sharon on December 3, 2010

Adopt-a-Person

with a moment of kindness

Dedicate your day to Adopting a Person – or people as you see, meet, pass them.  Here’s a simple way to bring more happiness into your life and into the world.

Become a vehicle for kindness and friendliness as you go about your normal daily activities.  Bring people back into the family of humanity by acknowledging their presence.  Spread kindness one person at a time and notice how you feel.  It may be a silent moment inside of you that warms your heart or it may involve an actual interaction with another person.

Some of the ways to Adopt a Person:

Smile at someone                                      Say “Thank you”

Hold a door open for someone               Say “Hello”

Look someone in the eye with warmth and friendliness

Wave and smile at a stranger

See with warm, kind eyes as you walk through a market place or drive your car

If someone speaks to you, pause and really listen

Give someone else the parking spot

Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know

Compliment someone on how they look or something they did

Make someone feel seen or heard

Find your own creative way to send gestures of kindness and good will

First do this with people that are easy for you to feel natural kindness and friendliness toward – even strangers.  Don’t forget to include those closest to you.

Then go the extra mile and do it with people that are difficult – pause and find one thing about them that you can appreciate or respect and let that be the catalyst for returning to an inner feeling of kindness for that person—even if you don’t speak to him or her.

You might even want to keep track of how many people you Adopt in a day.  But be sure to notice how you feel when you do this simple practice of the heart.  You may notice you are more aware of others and less absorbed in your own stories for awhile.

Also be sure to notice how others respond to you, whether you speak to them or not.  Your inner and outer presence will convey to them your intention to be kind and friendly.

This is something you have to try for yourself.  You can’t just think about it.  You have to put it into action to know the results.

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